She Called Me “Sir”

Starla J. King

She called me “sir” today, as I was picking out roses for Valentines’ Day. This happens . . . not that often . . . but it happens, so I’m used to it. But today for some reason it bothered me.

I certainly don’t blame anyone for thinking I’m a guy—I do tend to dress that way, and I do have the short-cropped hair styled more like a guy’s hair than a girl’s. Look at the picture and you can see it too, the “sir” you might mistake at a glance.

So why today is “sir” not rolling off with a chuckle? Because it’s not me. Inside I am woman, girl, female. I am so proud to be a woman, so thankful to be a woman, so honored to be a woman.

Yet I often dress like a guy because somehow that resonates with me. I feel strong, confident, beautiful, sexy in those clothes. I feel authentic in those clothes. But it doesn’t mean I don’t still feel like a strong, confident, beautiful, sexy woman.

I can’t explain it, but somehow I feel even more woman when I dress in the clothes that suit me . . . even when they’re boy clothes.

Still on some days I need to dress to the hilt in totally “girly” clothing, trading the faux-hawk hairstyle for a gently feminine side-swirl, adding an extra layer of makeup (including lipstick), finished off with a light scent of Hugo “Deep Red” for women instead of my standard Burberry “Touch” for men.

We are complex beings, we humans. Gay, straight, or somewhere in-between, we are all complex, beautiful human beings. And today I’m reminded that we don’t need to figure it all out—for ourselves or for anyone else.

—Starla J. King, Ashburn, Virginia, is a garden designer, writer, and photographer.  She co-owns Signature Gardenscapes, LLC (www.signaturegardenscapes.com) with her life partner Sandy and enjoys the creative freedom of blogging at http://starlajking.wordpress.com.